fear of the unknown

After being diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I started thinking about and taking better care of my health as well as eating healthier. The second time I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I guess I've gone overboard in doctor visits as well as calling the doctor's office whenever I noticed something out of the ordinary.

Last week I went to the doctor. My allergies have been driving my crazy and I've been having really bad headaches. Also, I've been feeling a really bad sensation on the left side of my jaw when I eat. It feels as if I was eating something really sour. Anyways, the point is that I've been kind of worried and I went to the doctor to get myself checked. While at the doctor's appointment, which lasted about an hour and half, one hour longer than what I'm usually there, my doctor noticed a lump on my neck. She also had me feel it. It was horrible. I've never been able to feel any of the lumps in the past, and this one time was something that I would never like to go through again. I figured she was going to call my endocriologist. Two days later I receive a phone call from my endocrinologist asking me to go in.

So I am freaking out. Fear of the unknown...who hasn't felt that before. That's what I feel now, though I have no clue if its cancer again or not. I wish it isn't.....I hope it isn't.